#12: JB Part III: Our 23 hour date

1 week after the meteor shower:

JB: Are you ready to invite me over?

ME: I think so. Maybe. Not sure.

JB: Haha, so typical.

Not to keep talking about sex, but did I meet your expectations?


(I guess we had already been texting about sex)


ME: Haha I know. I’m not really sure why that is so hard for me…

We can talk about sex all night long. 🙂

You made me feel really good. 😉 Honestly, I don’t think there has ever been a time where someone has given me an orgasm without mechanical assistance.

JB: Ok, that’s good to know.


We texted all week. And this happened…


JB: Goodnight

Me: xo

JB: Haha, you’re showing you’re age 😉


Me: Haha what! Why?!

JB: Nobody does xo anymore.

Me: I always do it.

JB: Don’t stop on cause of me.




There, does that make me sound younger?

JB: (Emoji with a kissy face)

I just lol’d

Me: 🙂

Ok! Goodnight already!!

JB: Night Night!!


So, I’m old apparently. I am 36, he is 32.

So far, the running tally of what all the internet men have said to me:

You’re old.

You have a bush.

You can’t take a dick.



A few days later:

JB: What is your weekend looking like?

ME: Hi. Not sure. I think I have dinner plans tonight. Free tomorrow though.

JB: I just so happen to be free tomorrow too.

ME: What a coincidence.

JB: I think we should celebrate the occasion.

ME: I agree

JB: Excellent 🙂

ME: I have a minor issue…

My knee blew up this week, not sure how mobile I can be.

JB: Of damn, are you ok?


ME: Yeah, I’m resting and icing, hope it will be better tomorrow but not sure.

JB: Ok, I will probably still like to hangout but if you wanna rest I would totally understand.

ME: I’d love to see you

JB: You’re knee going out has nothing to do with your age 😉

ME: Haha NO!

JB: Just teasing!!

I’ll find a way to make it up to you for being a meenie


ME: You’d better

What’s your schedule like on Sunday?! My knee is worse than yesterday.

JB: I’m not sure right now, I should have a better idea this afternoon.


4 hrs later


JB: Looks like I can be free Sunday if that would be better for you.

ME: I think it might. I’m hobbling around quite a bit today and I’m not particularly excited about you seeing me like this.

JB: Well I just want you to heal up. If you’re not better tomorrow night, I will somehow find the patience to wait for another time.

ME: You’re cute. I don’t know if I’ll be able to. 😉

JB: I’m not saying I would like it. Although I’m fine with just lounging around your place all day. I’m sure we could find something to do!


Text, text, text, nothing interesting.


ME: Do you have to work on Monday?

JB: Nope!

ME: Perfect.

JB: Slumber party?

ME: Yes 🙂 You’re officially invited over

We can have pillow fights, watch movies and wat ice cream

(ugh, the humanity of the typos)

JB: Fuck yeah!

That sounds like a great time!


So he came over to my place. He drove two hours to have a sleepover at mine. I was flattered and impressed. He got to mine at 6pm, walked through the sliding glass door, which just so happens to be my front door, and we hugged. It was a really nice intimate hug during which he sighed a little. Such a sweet, yummy noise. We sat on my bed, talking, awkwardly. We both wanted to ravage each other but were a little shy. Then we slowly gravitated towards each other and started kissing. The kissing lead to touching, both of which he does really well. He has this way of touching me over my clothes that makes me wet in an instant. And now, just thinking about him touching me makes me wet.


There is something very earnest in the way he touches me. It’s sweet and urgent. When I tell him I like something, he remembers. He listens to my sounds and reacts. The first time we had sex, it was quick and dirty, literally. We were both freezing and laying on a dirty bouldering pad so we didn’t even get fully naked. It was so nice to see his hot little body. He has a six-pack and a lightly hairied (not a word, but I like it, so I’m leaving it in there) chest. And I think he was excited to see mine.


We finished at 8pm. I faked an orgasm. I haven’t done that in so long. He was working so hard and I was taking so long, so I just FAKED IT. I will never do that again. I am so against it. He is a hard worker, I am pretty sure he can get me there eventually, I just need to be in the right headspace. We went for pizza, I got pulled over on our way home. I got a warning for an invalid license (wrong state), no registration (don’t know where that disappeared to) and speeding. It was pretty embarrassing. But we laughed about it, headed home and pigged out on pizza.


We started a movie. I actually went to the public library and checked out a projector screen so we didn’t have to watch it on my computer screen, I’m not sure if he appreciated it or not. We searched for a movie and found a stupid Will Ferrel flick. It was fine, don’t remember the name, it also had Marky Mark in it, nothing to write home about. About halfway through it, JB’s hands started to wander and my pelvis sought his out like a magnet. I told him that I couldn’t tell if he wanted to fool around or not. He said he wasn’t sure himself. So we just touched each other for a while until I was so crazy with anticipation I started kissing him. I feel like I always kiss him first. We had sex again, it was great. He came, I didn’t, but it felt great.


We passed out and I woke up with a man in my bed for the first time in 2.5 years.

We started to have sex immediately. He has a normal sized penis, unlike Bicycle Bob and Carlito so I could have A LOT OF SEX in a short amount of time. We went for a hike, then came back to mine. Had sex again, then he was on his way home at around 5pm. We had a 23 hour-long date. It was really nice. He is quiet, and shy, but I’m not so it works… For now.

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