On the same day I sent Bicycle Bob that message asking him to make an honest woman out of me (Tuesday), I also texted Carlito to see if he was free the night I was flying into his airport (Saturday). NUMBERS GAME. I was anxious about Bicycle Bob, so I had to get something else going to offset that inevitable rejection.
Carlito responded right away, true to form. I went out of town on Wednesday and flew into Carlito’s city on Saturday. I was a little delayed and he was getting impatient with the airline – super cute.
ME: PATIENCE GRASSHOPPER
CARLITO: true, some things are worth waiting for.
I get to his place, we go for a drink and he looks into my eyes and asks me my favorite question, “What color does it say your eyes are on your drivers license?” So that’s not my favorite question exactly, but I do like a guy who is going to look deep enough into my eyes and realize that there is some crazy shit happening in there upon closer inspection. My eyes are hazel, so they change, but mostly they are blue on the outer edge, green in the middle and gold around my iris. I also have a little freckle on my right lower lid and I love it when a guy notices that too.
He took me to the ballet, and to a really nice dinner that he made a reservation for in advance. I really appreciated his effort. It was the first adult date I had been on in a really, really long time. We talked about work, relationships, books, sex, family, I learned that his mom was bi-polar and committed suicide his senior year of college. It was intense.
All in all it was a really nice time. We drank a lot, he loves his champagne. FANCY. We made out in the back of the Uber on the way back to his place and I rubbed his boner through his jeans, I was ready to go. We walked up the stairs into his place and he picked me up and carried me to bed. Have I already mentioned how much I love this? I fucking love it so much. The only thing I’m waiting for now is a guy who will throw me over his shoulder like a caveman, slap my ass and take me to bed. He is not anywhere near as strong as Bicycle Bob, but it was quite hot when he pinned me up against his bedroom wall for a second. MMMMMM. I’ve never been fucked against the wall before. Part of me doesn’t think it’s a real thing, like it just happens in the movies, I know now that it’s possible, but the guy has to be really strong!
I wore a hot pink matching bra and panties set, not really my style, but I knew he would like it. He was in such a hurry to get me naked he barely even noticed.
Then SHIT GOT REAL.
He pulled my hair
Spanked me, hard
ATE MY ASS
He also might have slapped my face jokingly, but I was tipsy so I can’t quite remember if that was real…
This phase in my life is all about experimentation. Other than the last time Carlito pulled my hair, I have not experienced any of those things before. We talked about them a little afterwards, He told me I liked him eating my ass because I was on all fours and pushing my ass further into his face while he was doing it. I did. Fuck it. I really liked it. I highly recommend it actually. And hypocritically, I don’t think I could actually do it to anyone. I traveled that day! I must have been filthy. EW. The thought of doing it totally grosses me out, but now I know that I like to have it done to me.
I really wish I would like new sexy things, not WEIRD BUTT STUFF, but hey that’s life.
I did not like the choking, not even a little. I loved the spanking and the hair pulling, but not the choking and no slapping!
Other things that went down: He told me I had a BUSH! Which he said he liked, actually. But I was already pissed. There is no way I have a fucking bush. I keep so tidy down there, I am in a bikini twice a week.
ATTN MEN: bushes are what you see in Playboy from 1960-1980.
If its not curly, IT’S NOT A FUCKING BUSH.
He also told me that I couldn’t take a dick. This made me laugh. No one has ever told me this before, but it’s pretty true. I am a small woman, if you are a slightly-above-average man we are going to need some lube, it’s as simple as that. LUBE RULES.
Neither of us came that night, but we fooled around for hours and it was incredible. This time he could keep an erection, although the condoms were still a bit of a problem, every time we put one on him he would go limp. I don’t really get it, don’t guys want to be safe? For all he knows I am crawling with STD’s from Bicycle Bob. But we did all sorts of kinky shit, some that I liked and some that I didn’t. I feel like I am making progress with figuring this sex stuff out.
In the morning he unremarkably ate me out and I gave him a blowjob to completion, something I haven’t done in a decade. He made me a smoothie and I took it on the road with me and started my 3-hour drive home. Sore as fuck, again. I told myself and friends that I don’t ever need to see him again. He is so great on paper and is such a great communicator, but there is just something a little off about him and I can’t put my finger on it. He is kind of dark and I don’t have a dark bone in my body. On the other hand, he is someone I can have pretty good sex with and not care what he thinks about me. I could really figure a lot of things out with him.
There was this strange thing that I noticed in the morning before I got dressed. There were these little tufts of hair, one in the bed and one on the floor. Carlito is bald with a beard, where did they come from? I was pretty grossed out. It was weird. Still haven’t figured that one out.
Deep down, I was thinking about Bicycle Bob the whole time.
At 7:30pm Carlito texted me to make sure I got home safe – such a great communicator. So of course, I would see him again…