#4: My Ginger Date: let’s call him Malakai

That Sunday I was still incredibly sore from my night with Carlito. I went on a hike up the snowy hill with a friend, it was brutal, but really rewarding and we had a late lunch at 4pm. I was supposed to meet Malakai at 7 for drinks. I wasn’t sure if I was excited about it, more like nervous to the point of nausea for the my first, first date in 12 years. Plus he was a ginger and I have this weird thing about gingers… I was traumatized by the movie “The Children of the Corn” when I was a kid and the bad guy, Malakai was a ginger. I don’t think I ever got over that. So I was weary at best about this.

I got to the restaurant, sat at the bar, my friend made me a vodka soda, on the house because she’s a peach and I texted him that I was at the bar. He popped up behind me and asked if I was me, he startled me (fucking gingers, no offense) and I said yes and relocated to his table. I brought my stupid purse again and of course left it at the bar and my friend had to bring it to me. EMBARRASSING. We talked for 2.5 hours. He was really interesting. He is a ski patroller, really the only kind of guy you can date on the mountain. The instructors are all walking std’s and the liftees and rental tech’s are usually stoned morons. He lives on the mountain and uses a snowmobile to get home. He has no running water in his place so he uses the locker room at work to shower. He would fall under the grizzly mountain man category for me. He was much better looking in person than he was in his photographs and the conversation was great. He ate dinner while we were there, but I was still too full from my late lunch to eat anything, and I kind of felt like an idiot. I am so not that girl. I eat anything and everything, but I thought we were just grabbing drinks. He ordered this huge bbq sandwich and absolutely killed it. It was both impressive and absolutely disgusting. We talked about our romantic past, he was in a long-term relationship and engaged but never married, but it was close enough that I could relate to him on that front. He was a gentleman and walked me to my car. Then I proceeded to give him a ride to his snowmobile. He kissed me on the cheek and told me that he would like to see me again and I said sure. He texted me when he got home to reiterate that he had a good time and hoped I got home safe, which I really appreciated. I invited him out for my birthday with mountain people that Tuesday night and he couldn’t come because he had “standing plans” AKA ANOTHER DATE and asked what the rest of my week looked like. I told him which nights I was free, then I never heard from him again. And it didn’t bother me one bit. I didn’t want to make out with him. That’s my barometer for men right now.

My ex-husband and I waited 2 months to sleep together and by that point we were already so madly in love with one another that the mediocre sex didn’t matter. I do not want to do that to myself again.

UPDATE: A month later, I ran into him for the first time on the mountain. He brought an injured kid into our office and never made eye contact with me. I kept waiting for him to make eye contact and say hello but he never did. It was so incredibly awkward but it didn’t need to be at all. I later looked on Bumble and saw that our match was deleted, so I guess he met someone. I hope so. He is a really nice guy. I hope he found a grizzly mountain woman to keep him warm at night.

UPDATE #2: Two months later… I assumed that he started dating someone because he never contacted me for that second date and he deleted our match on Bumble, but I just recently had to SWIPE LEFT on him on Tinder… So…. Yeah… Maybe I wasn’t as charming as I thought I was. But then why say you want to see me again and text me when you got home? Just leave it alone. Right? Huh.


  1. Guys are weird. It’s not even worth trying to figure them out. Maybe he was intimated ? It’s hard to tell. At least the date went well and you learned from it. Small place though might take the dating pull a little rough! Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

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